On the back of yet another terrible QPR performance The Soccer Sphere has decided to try and put their truly terrible season into context, by comparing it to the best of the worst Premier League seasons that various teams have been unfortunate enough to experience, since its 1992 inception. For the sake of equality QPR’s current campaign has not been included as, despite only having earned 0.5 points per game so far, they have not completed a full season and still have the chance to be relegated with some dignity, rather than spiralling humiliatingly into oblivion.
Swindon’s points total of 30 is slightly deceptive as in ’93-94 the Premier League was still a 22 team league which gave them 4 extra games to pad their stats. What is really remarkable about Swindon’s ’93-94 is their total goals conceded, a stunning, league record 100. This team weren’t bad they were terrible, but they did have a secret weapon- Jan Åge Fjørtoft. Fjørtoft managed to pick up 12 of the teams 47 goals and is largely responsible for keeping things respectable. QPR may not ship as many goals as Swindon but they don’t score as many either, they may finish the season with more points per game than Swindon managed but it’s unlikely they will entertain people in the same way.
Managers: John Gorman
Star Player: Jan Åge Fjørtoft; stopped 1993-94 being a real nightmare for Swindon.
Points Total: 30 (in 42 games)
A season after Swindon managed 30 points Ipswich attempted to repeat the feat. Unfortunately for them they fell short by 3 only managing 27 points, again from 42 games. Another team that 90s strikers will look back on with happy memories; Ipswich conceded 92 goals during the league season including 9 in one game against Manchester United- a Premier League record. Unlike Swindon Ipswich couldn’t score; demonstrated by, top scorer, Claus Thomsen’s grand total of 5 goals. Maybe the most comparable team to QPR; which is certainly an uninspiring thought for their fans.
Managers: John Lyall and George Burley
Star Player: Craig Forrest: the Canadian goalkeeper actually won a goalkeeping award in October.
Points Total: 27
On the 11th of January 2003 Sunderland had 19 points from their first 23 games, which gave them a chance of survival; sadly they lost all of the last 15 games of the season becoming the first team to fail to break the 20 points barrier. The season cost the jobs of Peter Reid and Howard Wilkinson leaving Mick McCarthy in control to see out this miserable campaign. If QPR continue at their current pace they may struggle to beat 20 points, for their fans sake let’s hope their form in the second half of the season doesn’t replicate Sunderland’s.
Managers: Peter Reid, Howard Wilkinson and Mick McCarthy
Star Player: Kevin Kilbane; he ran around a bit and wasn’t really, really, really bad.
Points Total: 19
Not content with only managing for the tail end of Sunderland’s diabolical 2002-03 season Mick McCarthy was back for more just three years later. Apparently feeling as though he had some sort of point to prove, Mick presided over some of the most inept football the division has ever seen. When you’re marquee signing is £1.8million Jon Stead you know you are in trouble and with a grand total of 16 points they just managed to top their own 2002-03 effort. QPR should get past 15 points sometime in early April, if they keep their composure.
Managers: Mick McCarthy and Kevin Ball
Star Player: None: it’s impossible to single out one of these sub-par forgettables as the best. Although Dean Whitehead did score a good free-kick v spurs, so he gets an honourable mention.
Points Total: 15
Derby County 2007-08
The worst season any team has ever had, ever! The Rams managed only 1 (O-N-E!) win in 38 league games and finished with a pitiful 11 points. Remarkably for a team that was so bad Derby only sacked one manager that season, although this may have had something to do with the three different chairmen that had spells overseeing the club throughout the course of the season. Their official relegation date was the 29th of March meaning they are the only team to have relegation confirmed in March, a truly humiliating record that caps a season best forgotten for Rams fans. QPR only need 2 points to have had a better season that Derby, something they should be able to manage.
Managers: Billy Davies and Paul Jewell
Star Player: Kenny Miller; who managed to return 4 goals in his 30 appearances for the club that season.
Points Total: 11